It can be hard to pinpoint the exact moment you first notice that something has changed. Perhaps it’s a repeated question or story, or forgetting a person’s name. Perhaps there is confusion around the date or time. If you have or are supporting a loved one through cognitive changes, you probably remember asking yourself, likely more than once, “Is this normal aging, or something more?”
If you’ve had this experience, it’s natural to have mixed emotions around it. It can be concerning, scary, and might leave you hesitant to even approach the topic with your loved one or with family. You’re not alone if you’re going through this; this article provides guidance and support.
What “Cognitive Changes” Really Means
A person’s “cognition” is a broad term for how they think, process, problem-solve, and remember in daily life. When a person experiences a change in cognition, it may first become noticeable in small ways. For example, they may start misplacing things like their keys or cell phone. They might have a harder time following conversations, engaging in activities or games, or making decisions. What’s sometimes hard for families is that it’s not always clear whether this is just a normal part of aging or something more.
These changes usually don’t happen all at once, and they often look different from person to person. If you find yourself wondering if you’re seeing early signs of cognitive change, try to observe patterns over time. If you can determine what is changing, if anything, how often it’s happening, and the impact on day-to-day functioning, you will have a better sense of what is really going on.
The Emotional Side of Supporting a Loved One Through Cognitive Changes
Changes in one’s cognitive functioning can bring a lot of emotions with it, for both you and your loved one. For the person experiencing it, they are likely to feel emotions such as frustration or embarrassment at times and may fear losing their independence. Family members are likely to worry, feel guilty, and wonder whether they are overreacting. Whatever your emotions or your loved one’s emotions, it can be helpful to acknowledge them. They are valid, and it is very natural to have them. Often, emotional support through this time can be just as important as practical support.
Small Ways to Offer Support in Everyday Life
Depending on your relationship and your level of comfort with them, there are many ways to support someone experiencing cognitive decline. Some of the more practical ways include gentle reminders via written notes, calendars, or phone calls. When possible, simplifying routines or plans can help reduce anxiety for all involved. And finding ways to offer help without completely taking over can be a good way to support someone while still preserving their independence, something that is very important to most people. Some of these things may be easier said than done, but if you can shift your role to that of a partner rather than someone trying to control the situation, you will likely have better outcomes. Independence and dignity are essential, so anything you can do to help your loved one preserve both is better.
How to Start the Conversation (Without Making It a Big Deal)
Many families eventually reach a point where they feel a conversation is needed. Not everyone feels comfortable having this conversation, but most families feel better once they have. Having a plan and strategies can reduce anxiety, and many families feel closer and more connected afterward, including the loved one experiencing cognitive changes.
To start a conversation, try to keep it natural and low-pressure. Choosing the right time and environment helps a lot, and allowing enough time to have the conversation so nobody feels rushed is essential. We recommend stating observations (might begin with “I’ve noticed that…”) instead of accusations (such as “You always…). Resistance is usually likely, but help your loved one understand that it’s not personal and that you want to be a support for them.
When It Might Be Time to Look for Additional Support
Many families are able to support their loved one through cognitive changes for years, without needing to make major changes to their routine or living arrangements. However, if things change significantly, additional support may be necessary. Some signs that a person needs more help include safety concerns, such as wandering, confusion about medications, or difficulty with activities of daily living, such as cooking or bathing. Emotionally, the person might become more withdrawn or less inclined to interact with others as they used to. For some families, there comes a point when it doesn’t feel safe to leave their loved one alone. This is likely a sign your loved one needs additional support.
How Senior Living Communities Can Support Cognitive Changes
Support doesn’t always have to fall on one person, nor should it. Outside support can come in many ways. For some, it is extended family, friends, or neighbors. For many others, it is paid professional help, such as in-home care or moving to a senior living community. Senior living communities offer several benefits for people going through memory changes or memory loss, including:
- Structured routines
- Social interaction and engagement opportunities
- Trained staff who understand cognitive changes
- Safe, secure, and thoughtfully designed environments
Senior living communities, like Country Place Senior Living, aren’t meant to replace family. They’re there to support both of you so your loved one has what they need, and you don’t have to carry it all on your own. If you’re interested in learning more about what life could look like in a community for your loved one, please contact us today with any questions or to set up a tour.
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